


If two lobby members were on the moon and one killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what

by dysfunctionalbeehive



Category: The Lobby
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, One Shot Collection, just a whole lot of one shots, multiply different universes, tags will be added when they pop up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-01-04 19:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21203207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dysfunctionalbeehive/pseuds/dysfunctionalbeehive
Summary: A collection of a whole bunch of one-shots of these dumbass's that i adore.





	1. Nine Literally can't die

Hogwarts AU - So Nine’s the chosen one

“Nine, this is the actual worst idea you’ve ever had” 

“I beg to differ” 

Pam observed as Nine, in a shopping trolley, and Jude, holding the shopping trolley, stood in front of her at the top of the astronomy tower. The events that led up to this were an interesting and detailed story involving a few years of Nine being targeted for god knows what reason by an evil dark wizard, to now where they had found out that Nine was apart of a prophecy in which he would be killed by said dark wizard . . . there was one thing about the prophecy however that opened a door to chaotic displays of hubris. 

“Pam, he’s got a point I mean, the prophecy says that only the evil dude can kill him so like, he’s basically immortal until that point” Noah said, gesturing his hands towards Nine, who had a determined expression on his face.  
“In other words, if he literally can’t die until that moment, why not let him go wild?” 

“Because we don’t know for sure! How can we be so certain that he’s not going to die! Like, why would we risk that?!” Pam threw her hands up in the air, before sharply turning to Runo, who had been lent up against the nearest pillar with an amused smile on her face. 

“Runo, c’mon, you see how stupid an idea this is, you’ve got to help me stop them” the ravenclaw gave a non-commital shrug in response, laughing as Pam groaned and dragged a hand down her face. 

“C’mon Pam, what’s the worst that could happen?” Nine chipped in, turning around in his shopping cart. Pam stared at him for a good minute, her eye twitched slightly before she almost yelled  
“DEATH?” the other three glanced between each other, each looked dubious of her answer. 

“Yoowhooo, hey nerds” came a voice from downstairs, it shot a momentary sense of relief through Pam, recognising Judas’s voice from behind she quickly turned around only to have her anxiety come back in full force as she saw Judas in a shopping trolley being pushed by Gerard with Quinn following closely behind. 

“Sorry Pam, I tried to stop them but once Judas found out about Nine’s idea, all hope was lost” Quinn gave Pam an apologetic smile whilst Gerard pushed Judas’s trolley to sit next to Nines. The two exchanged a look of determination, nodding at one another in a silent understanding. Gerard glanced worriedly at Runo who gave a thumbs up in response, her face remaining far too neutral. 

“Hey babe, not that I don’t trust you but are you sure this is actually safe?” Gerard asked Judas, who turned to give a confidant grin to their boyfriend. 

“The logic is perfect, see if Nine can’t die until he has to fight the evil dude then anything he does that’s dangerous he’ll survive, and if he’s able to survive it then it’ll mean I’d be able to survive it as well, prophecies always come true” Judas’s completely sound logic seemed to do nothing to calm their boyfriends nerves but one quick kiss did help a little more.  
“I promise I’ll be okay” Gerard smiled slightly and nodded. 

“Alrightly, let’s get on with this” Nine called, Noah and Gerard instantly got into position to push their partners off, holding them just slightly off the edge. Pam walked over to Runo and Quinn, who had begun cheering. Pam groaned, rubbing her temples in a weak attempt to calm her developing stress-induced headache.

“This is ridiculous! How are you so okay with this??!” she demanded, Runo tilted her head towards Nine and Judas, deciding not to answer. 

“READY?” Noah called to the two racers. 

“READY!” both Judas and Nine responded. Gerard and Noah nodded at each other before shoving their respective partners off with all their might. And so the race began. Pam Quinn and Runo quickly rushed to the edge to look down with Noah and Gerard, the group watching as Judas and Nine started their descent. But, before the race could truly begin Runo glanced around at the group before speaking words that sent a cold chill down everyone’s spine. 

“Did you know that Dumbledore once told me that not all prophecies come true?” she said calmly, a smirk slowly appearing across her face. Everyone’s heads slowly turned towards her, with a look of pure shock. 

“HE SAID WHA-” came from Nine and Judas, already reaching the point of no return as they began racing down the tower with no chance of slowing down, let alone stopping. 

Pam’s hysterical laughter and subsequent passing out was quick to follow.


	2. The Lobby looks for aliens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when people were doing that Area 51 raid? Yeah good times, anyway here’s the lobby take

Area 51 raid - Modern au

“So, what is the plan here exactly?” Pam asked the rest of the group. Standing here in the middle of nowhere, were a few of the lobby members, dressed like mediocre apocalypse survivors. Each held various ‘weapons’ at the ready, looking at Area 51. Various other groups surrounded them as well. 

A few of the group shared looks with one another, Judas who was wearing a Naruto headband and holding a water pistol in one hand grinned. It had been their idea in their first place. 

“Raiding Area 51, obviously” Pam rolled her eyes. 

“Yes that much is clear but, what and how? Are we going to run up to a military base with water and Nerf guns??” Pam asked, a little exasperated with the group. She couldn’t exactly say much if she was honest, she had willingly gotten in the car without questioning anything. Honestly she should’ve known at this point how Lobby road trips would go. 

Dave spoke up next, he wore a hoodie that said ‘Release my alien bf’ and had those cat eared headphones on. “Well, yeah? I’m willing to bet at least like, one of us gets in” Pam only groaned in response, turning to Runo with hope that at least she was at least a little apprehensive too. 

Runo silently offered her a Nerf gun, she had apparently chosen only to bring a ukulele that was swung over one shoulder. When Pam simply glared at her Runo quirked a small smile “I’m the parental supervision” Pam continued her glare, but took the Nerf gun begrudgingly. 

“Alright homos” Gerard called, taking the lead of the group, climbing up on top of a box to get taller. He had gone for a simple look, a t shirt that just said ‘I’m Gay’ in bold across his chest. Gee also had a water gun in one hand “We all understand our mission?” Everyone nodded, well everyone except Pam and Nine, Pam just groaned and accepted their fate and Nine was nowhere to be seen, he had disappeared the second they had arrived. Gerard grinned. 

“Perfect, we charge when we hear the signal, got it?” Pam had not got it, she didn’t even know what the signal was. Gerard hopped back down from their box, Judas coming to their side to wrap an arm around their boyfriends waist. 

“Now babe, you know what to do if I get knocked down?” they asked Gerard, a serious tone to their voice. Gerard nodded with determination. 

“No matter the situation I am to sing mmm whatcha say” he replied, wrapping an arm back around Judas. They smiled, looking far too proud and gave Gerard a quick kiss on the cheek. 

Quin Noah and Runo stood to one side. Quin wore a sweater that had a knitted alien pattern on it, and was holding two loaves of bread in her hands. No one had asked what she had planned with them, or acknowledged them. A silent group fears her answer. Noah was dressed suspiciously similar to Steve from minecraft and had a foam pickaxe. Noah and Quin were in a heated discussion about what they should do if they find Sans undertale, whilst Runo listened in. Runo being dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, her usual attire except she had the shirt unbuttoned to reveal a t-shirt that had ‘Don’t make me release the fucking bees, I swear to god I’ll do it bitch’ written in sharpie. 

Next to them was Dave Kitkat and Moon, Moon wore a hoodie that said ‘I’m Moon’ which looked a little random, until someone remembered Nine was wearing a matching hoodie that said ‘If lost return to Moon’ Dave was trying to convince Kitkat to let them on their shoulders whilst Kitkat looked reluctant to say no. Kitkat had a sweater that was unmistakable Karkats, she also wore a pair of shades and held a nerf gun slung over one shoulder. 

What a fucking group.

Everyone continued their conversations, Runo had her phone up filming a nearby newscaster talking about the scene whilst Judas Naurto ran past in the background. Quin had just started to nibble on a piece of bread when everyone heard a distant sound being played through a speaker. 

It was megalovania. 

“THAT’S THE SIGNAL, FUCKING GOOOOOOO!” Gerard yelled and the next ten minutes were filled with nothing but chaos. Everyone in the surrounding area including the lobby group start running and yelling, it’s a mad dash of weebs and alien enthusiasts, a group of people you wouldn’t really expect to run so fast. They have to judge some stray nerf bullets and water balloons, one hits Judas square in the chest and they pretend to fall down and die, Gerard dutifully starts singing for them and Judas’s pupils look like they might actually be hearts, but that could just be a trick of the light.

“G-go on without me babe” they cough out, faking being injured as Gerard holds them in his arms.  
“I won’t darling! We’ll do this together, or not at all” there’s actual pain in his voice as he cradles Judas, the rest of the group feel surprisingly moved by the performance. 

“I’ll have to carry you” Gerard says, already adjusting himself to hook his arms underneath Judas.  
“Wait seriously- fuck i mean, uh I’m dying?” 

A moment later Gerard has Judas in his arms bridal style, jogging to catch up with the others. Judas’s face is priceless, wide eyed with a slight blush to their cheeks.

The entire small group by some stroke of luck do actually reach the fence, even after Judas’s performance. They all stand around, looking at one another as if to ask ‘What now?’ Dave looks ready to use Kitkat to push them up and other when Moon suddenly points inside the fence. 

“Nine?” Everyone turns when Moon points, seeing the missing member himself on the other side of the fence, sipping a drink he definitely didn’t have earlier. 

“Hey” Nine gave a small wave, walking along the fence until he paused, pushing it slightly with his foot so it opened, stepping out through the gap he had found. 

“Wait, so when you went off earlier you just broke into here without us?” Kitkat asked, tilting her head in confusion. Nine stared at her for a moment before nodding and walking towards Moon, essentially returning himself as his hoodie instructed. The group looked at one another, none sure what to do now. 

“Hey where’d you get the drink?” Runo asked, Nine looked at the drink before turning back to her. 

“There was a vending machine” 

“Oh, anything else?” she asked, Nine shrugged. The majority of the group decided that if Nine hadn’t found anything of interest, there probably wasn’t anything of interest to find. That didn’t stop Noah and Judas conspiring the entire drive back and shooting Nine looks as they mumbled something about an ‘Alien body snatcher’. Their theories went out the window however when Runo noticed Nine give Moon a flower and hold their hand. Judas argued that he could just be a really good actor but those arguments were shot down. 

All and all, a good day.


End file.
